My dear RetroRewind; we meet again. Allow us safe passage back into the year, 1989 and I will allow your life force to be sustained by the accumulated energy of the helpless eyeholes gazing helplessly at their monitors. Shit, I think they heard me!
Hi there! Yesterday we brought you the gripping tale of what happens when Leisure Suit Larry Goes Looking For Love (In Several Wrong Places). Today we will move onto the third of the tales of Larry; Larry Laffer. (By the way, anyone else here Larry’s iconic giggle every time they read his name?) Onward we go into a story that goes back to the roots of the original game. A game filled with sexual innuendos, lewd humor, pixelated nudity, and all the late-80s humor that they could stuff into a single game. Strap on (hehe) your seatbelt as we journey back to Nontoonyt Island for Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals!
An undisclosed number of years has passed since last we saw Mr. Laffer and many things have changed. Nontoonyt Island has turned into the tourist-baiting paradise the natives have always dreamed of. Hotels, casinos, and clubs spread out across most of the island and the natives have formed their own company, aptly named Natives Inc. Larry is still married to Kalalau and has let island living get the better of him. What I mean to say is that Larry has become quite the rotund gentleman. This, likely as well as a new-found appreciation of the female form has led Kalalau, Larry’s 2nd wife, to the decision of leaving him for a woman; which is the last we see of her. This leaves Larry heartbroken and despondent. What is a hawaiian shirt wearing sexual dynamo to do when the love of his life leaves him for some random Amazonian Harley-riding former-cannibal slot-machine repairwoman?
Well of course he’s going to find the first Superman-based cliché, throw on his old leisure suit and find the nearest beauty for a frenzy of passionate love-making. Larry makes his way all over the island bedding, sand-bedding, tanning-bedding, and backstage-bedding a bevy of buxom babes with hilariously sad results. No matter what or who Larry does it always ends with things ending prematurely, and not in a satisfying way. One encounter even ends with Larry becoming a cross-dressing showgirl(guy), but that turns out to be a good thing since if you’re patient this can lead to a lovely, short tryst with a certain boxer-fetishist lawyer.
Ultimately Larry finds the woman of his dreams after shedding a significant amount of weight. In a little piano bar at the hotel he comes across Passionate Patti (formerly Polyester Patty) sitting at the piano, tickling some ivories. A brief exchange leads back to Patti’s hotel suite (a familiar locale for Larry) for a late night sexchange. (You have to appreciate that kind of sparkling wordplay!) But what’s this, Patti and Larry are perfectly in sync with each other. Larry falls for Patti and despite all odds Patti falls for Larry. The rest of the cutscene plays out with Patti falling asleep murmuring the name of her boyfriend that she plans to dump. Larry, confused why his love would be moaning another man’s name steals away into the night, never to be seen again. This isn’t the end of the story though, for in what might be a shocking twist, the game switches perspectives and we take over Passionate Patti as she searches for Larry and his pulsating pectorals. Alright, maybe it’s not a twist at all if you stopped to think about the title of the game.
Patti sets off through the bamboo jungles of Nontoonyt Island, finally making her way down a raging river with a stiff log firmly implanted between her legs. (…an experience not wholly unfamiliar to her!) Without warning a lost, but fashionable tribe of cannibalistic Amazonian warriors capture Patti; knocking her out in the process. All hope finally seems lost as the woman carry Patti back to their camp. The love of her life gone and her life nearing its end; what’s a passionate, nearly naked woman to do. Patti comes to in a cage suspended over a cooking with her prize in sight. Somehow Larry was captured by the same woman and now they are finally reunited. How will our two loves find their way out of this mess? Why, with a “magic” marker of course!
Using her knowledge of quantum mechanics, or just insane adventure game design possibly brought upon in a sex-induced haze, Patti draws a door in mid-air. With not a moment to spare Patti and Larry hop through the door and tumble out of their game and onto the Sierra game studio. Over the next few scenes our heroes stumble their way through classic Sierra series such as Police Quest, King’s Quest, Space Quest, and yes even Leisure Suit Larry. At the end of our cavalcade of Sierra hits Patti and Larry come face to face with none other than Roberta Williams, co-founder of Sierra Entertainment and creator of King’s Quest. Seeing their potential Roberta offers the duo a job making adventure games. The End…?
Holy shit, did I ever forget how much fun Leisure Suit Larry III was! I always look back on my time with the Larry games as LSL2 & 7 being my favorites, while 3 is at the bottom of my list, but after today that all changes. This was some of the most fun I have had with this project since I started it. The art style is the best yet, there is constant music and sound accompaniment throughout the game, plus the humor is top-notch. My only regret is that I opted out of streaming my gameplay online due to time constraints.
Leisure Suit Larry III: Passionate Patti in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals is the same Larry game as Leisure Suit Larry 2. The familiar ability to move either with the mouse or arrow keys persists, as well as the text parser. Nothing changes with the gameplay, but the humor which defines the series finally starts showing up strongly in this title. From Larry’s interaction with woman, to a brilliant cameo by Al Lowe himself, Larry is in fine form in this sequel. The comedy club remains a surprisingly standout moment in the game. What could have been a dull experience turned into a highly amusing joke-telling marathon. Sure, the jokes are cheesy and the bit goes on a little longer than needed, but as a whole it was an enjoyable segment of the game.
I can not recommend this game highly enough. Now I can only wonder what Al and the fine folks at Replay Games will do when they get around to remaking this classic. Speaking of which, Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards: Reloaded on Kickstarter has officially surpassed their goal of $500k. The thing is that there is still six days left in the campaign, and that’s six more days to get the word out and raise more money for Larry Laffer’s return. The more money they raise, the better this game will be. Imagine a return to Lost Wages with a fully animated intro and cutscenes. Higher quality voice acting and music. The sky’s the limit with what they could do. So donate generously!